We made a decision to turn our will and our lives away from fear-driven control and toward Love.

Step Three is about choice. Not a perfect choice, and not a once-and-for-all decision, but a direction we begin to take. After recognizing that self-will has exhausted us and that we are not alone, we are invited to decide how we want to live differently.

For many of us, the idea of letting go feels risky. Control may be painful, but it is familiar. We may worry that if we stop managing everything, life will fall apart. Step Three does not ask us to stop caring or to abandon responsibility. It asks us to notice where fear has been driving our decisions and to consider another way.

Making a decision in Step Three does not mean we suddenly know how to live without control. It means we are willing to stop insisting that our way is the only way. We begin to loosen our grip, even when we feel uncertain.

In this step, love is not a feeling we wait for; it is a posture we practice. Love looks like trust instead of grasping, presence instead of projection, consent instead of control. It is the willingness to let reality be what it is, without needing to dominate, fix, or improve it. It is staying present with what’s here, without turning away or trying to manage the outcome. It is trusting the pull toward love, even when we don’t yet know where it will lead.

For some of us, this decision looks like pausing before reacting. For others, it means letting go of an outcome we have been trying to force. It may mean allowing ourselves to be guided by values like honesty, compassion, and openness rather than by anxiety or self-protection.

Step Three is not about becoming passive. It is about alignment. We learn to ask ourselves whether our actions are coming from fear or from trust. When we notice fear running the show, we practice stepping back and allowing something larger than our own will to guide us.

We will not live this step perfectly. Self-will will return, often and quickly. That does not mean we have failed. Each time we notice and choose again, we are practicing Step Three.

Over time, this decision begins to change how we move through the world. We may find ourselves less reactive, less controlling, and more present. We may begin to feel a quiet sense of relief as we learn that we do not have to force life to cooperate.

Step Three is a beginning. It opens us to the rest of the program by shifting our posture from control to consent.