“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
— André Gide, Autumn Leaves
Many of us learned to adjust ourselves in order to stay safe. We shaped our words, softened our edges, amplified what was rewarded, concealed what felt risky. Self-protection can become so subtle that we forget we are performing. Being liked begins to feel necessary. Being approved of feels stabilizing.
But the effort to be loved for what we are not is exhausting. It requires constant management. Self-will steps in to curate the image, to monitor reactions, to secure belonging. Over time, something inside grows distant. The cost of approval becomes disconnection from ourselves.
Faithfulness, in this program, does not mean stubbornness or self-assertion. It means allowing what is true to be visible—without exaggeration and without disguise. Not everyone will resonate. Not everyone will approve. But when we stop performing, something steadier begins to live through us. The relief is not dramatic. It is quiet and real.
Egos Anonymous is offered in an experimental spirit—an invitation to see whether there’s interest in a shared way of working with ego, self-will, and control. The language, structure, and practices are still forming and are meant to grow through lived experience.
This is a soft launch. The hope is to eventually gather a year of reflections into a book, but for now they’re simply being shared—one day at a time—to see what resonates.
If something feels useful, confusing, incomplete, or off, feedback is welcome and genuinely appreciated. This work is meant to be shaped together.
